We keep on saying it, but Jeff Danziger is easily the best political cartoonist in America. Period. Check out his site, danzigercartoons.com, if you need proof.

This kid is 7 years old, and he just got in trouble for stealing a car. He keeps it pretty gangsta though, when asked if he should be punished, he suggests “just a little bit, no video games for a whole weekend.” All though too young to be prosecuted, police say “they do want to get him into the system to get him some type of help.”

Yeah, sounds like a great idea, because “the system” has such an excellent track record of helping young misguided children…

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Via CNN:

He became the first human guinea pig of the drug when a tiny amount of the substance seeped onto his finger during a repeat of the laboratory experiment April 16, 1943.

“I had to leave work for home because I was suddenly hit by a sudden feeling of unease and mild dizziness,” he wrote in a memo to company bosses.

“Everything I saw was distorted as in a warped mirror,” he said, describing his bicycle ride home. “I had the impression I was rooted to the spot. But my assistant told me we were actually going very fast.”

Three days later, Hofmann experimented with a larger dose. The result was a horror trip.

“The substance which I wanted to experiment with took over me. I was filled with an overwhelming fear that I would go crazy. I was transported to a different world, a different time,” Hofmann wrote.

Astronomer’s get closer look at black hole jet (via USA Today)

If the monkeys who drink the most get to lead the others, Frank151 could be leading a freakin’ army.

Oh wait, maybe we kind of already are.

As another installment in what’s apparently becoming our ongoing list of Dope Spots To Retire, here’s a short article about a Chilean mayor who’s implementing a new citywide “Quality of Life” policy — handing out free rations of Viagra to citizens over 60.

Right on, Mayor Navarrete.  You’ve just earned Lo Prado a boom in nursing-home tourists; now get some of those Danish girls over, and the town’s economy is seriously gonna blow.

In New York, we’re shoving people off the train.

These guys have actually found gainful employment pushing people around. They’re called Oyisha (or “pushers”), and they stand on train platforms during morning & evening rush hours and shove.

Tokyo may be one of the world’s safest cities, but it’s easy to see why their pickpockets are still a big scene. Sneakthieves over there have been known to use hardcore distraction techniques, too; from teargas to mace, Tokyo pickpockets don’t play around. Professionals emigrate into the city from S. Korea and Vietnam to set up shop pickin’ wallets off suckers and tourists; they come for the crowds, but stay for the exchange rate.

The Barcode

Displaying yet again that most public school officials are totally out of touch with their students’ reality, a Portland, Oregon high school has begun suspending students who rock thin shaves on their eyebrows.

School officials and local police claim the symbols can be used to symbolize gang activity. “This is a way for them to identify each other. In a school setting, it intimidates other kids,” a Portland cop explained to the Associated Press. Keeping our students safe from themselves, eh, officer? Keep up that important work, buddy. We’ll see you at the next D.A.R.E. event.

Seriously, how long has this kind of thing been going on? It seems like just the other day kids were gettin suspended for wearing red and black… for wearing doo rags… for wearing trenchcoats… for rocking mohawks or spiked bracelets… for shirts with drug references… even “Coed Naked” shirts earned their fair share of suspensions back in the day. And then there was the whole “Bong Hits 4 Jesus” debate last year….

If they’re so worried the kids are getting into gangs, why is the tactic to keep them OUT of school? Spending the day on the street instead is hardly a punishment. Sounds to us like these school administrators and police need to go back and get some more schooling themselves.

In the meantime, roll thru Frank’s Chop Shop and get yourself trimmed up with an eyebrow fade — show your solidarity for the Portland kids, and stick it to the Man!  

(note: the video kicks in at the 28 second mark)