Interview: Lily Waronker

Kristina Rose is a West Coast Cali-raised talent, whose fame reaches far across the globe—she tweets to 200,000 followers and has starred in almost 500 adult films. The erotic performer/ dancer and self-proclaimed “LA face with an Oakland booty” has been on our radar for some time now, and not necessarily because of her brilliant rendition of Elaine in the Seinfeld porn parody, or her strip-club feature as a sexy clown—she’s known for pulling a long line of handkerchiefs out of her ass. Rose has set herself apart from the bunch with her backwood-rolling, pot-smoking, no-fucks-given attitude.

How long have you been smoking weed?
I used to smoke in high school but my friends didn’t like it ’cause they were like, “You’re a bitch when you’re stoned.” And then I didn’t really smoke weed again till I was like, I wanna say 23. And I’ve been smoking weed ever since.

Do you remember the first time you got high?
Yeah, I do…Oh, my God. The first time I got high I was chilling with one of my best friends at the time, a kid named Cody. I can’t believe I even remember his name. He was a big dude and a big pothead, and he was like, “Come over, we’re going to Black Angus and I got some weed. Let’s smoke.” I was like, “Alright, I never smoked before,” so I was kinda nervous. I’d heard people before say the very first time they start smoking weed they didn’t get high, I was so high I couldn’t stop laughing. And I was a total bust. His parents were kinda hippies so I think they knew what was up. I think they smoked weed—he probably stole the weed from them.

So we come down there, bloodshot, and his mom is all like “Oh, you guys are awful cheerful. Are you hungry? You wanna get some steak?” Just talking about all this food, I can’t stop laughing uncontrollably, like fucking giggling my ass off. Then I went to eat Black Angus with my friend and I came home and my mom was watching Leaving Las Vegas on TV. I was probably like 13 and leaning my elbows in front of the TV, in front of her, on the floor, just being like, “Oh my god, she knows I’m high. She knows I’m stoned.” And Leaving Las Vegas is a creepy movie, especially when you’re 13 and getting high for the first time.

[Points to a bejeweled Dodgers hat] Did you rhinestone that hat?
Yeah, I did. I did a Dodgers thing and it was so cool because it was the last game before they lost to be in the World Series or whatever. So they were all hyped on it. And San Francisco, I took the Barry Bond’s bat—it’s a little kid’s bat—fucked myself with it. I just fuck myself with everything, that’s my magic trick.

That’s good. They like it.
Yeah, they do. My ass isn’t as big as it used to be so I can’t do all the ass-shaking tricks, and I think all the girls do that so it’s more like, “Hey look, I can put this in my vagina or asshole.” Trying to come up with a new costume and a new gimmick…

How do you think of new gimmicks?
I’ll be high or something and I’ll just have an idea. Like the Minnie Mouse thing that I did, that started out with this guy that I fuck with on-and-off with forever. He sent me a picture of him with Minnie Mouse and I thought, “Oh, Minnie Mouse, that would be a good idea, dudes like Minnie Mouse.” So I made a Minnie Mouse costume cause he was going to come visit me and I was like, “He’ll like that, and maybe I’ll fuck him in it.” All the guys complimented me on that costume so much. I try to get ideas from guys ‘cause that’s who I’m doing it for really. And girls are usually really into it, too.

Amazing.
One time, a guy brought his iPad—I can’t believe they let him. He brought this iPad and he had a banner scrolling, “Kristina Rose is the shit” or something like that across it.

That’s great reinforcement.
He brought me weed and stuff; they always bring me weed, I love that. That’s why I love letting everyone know I’m a pothead; they bring me weed, they know what I like. I have friends whose agents don’t allow them to talk about that. They’re always asking me, “How do you get weed? Why do people always bring you weed?” I’m like, “’Cause they know that I smoke it! You need to tell them.”

No, Pebbles [Her Chihuahua approaches the weed].
She doesn’t get weed.

You don’t blow it into her ears?
No.

Isn’t that what people do?
Yeah, I just feel like that’s mean ‘cause they don’t really have a say in it. I remember when I was first getting high, that feeling, it’s pretty overwhelming, it’s pretty powerful. I don’t know, I just wouldn’t want to do that to someone and they don’t have a choice in it.

Thank you.
No, thank you. Sorry if you don’t like smoking, but I’ll smoke it. I should be a caterpillar [talking about costumes].

Sitting on a mushroom. Why can’t you do costumes like that?
I can do whatever I want. I have a big weed leaf costume that I made; it’s like a giant weed leaf, and I just put my head in there like that. That one is cool. I was thinking about doing a KISS [band] thing, just because I’m going to Atlantic City and I don’t know why that seems very KISS-y to me. It’d be super easy to do and I feel like the crowd in Jersey would totally like it. I try to do different stuff. I used to do like a sports team theme, but then all these bitches were doing the same thing every time. I was like, “Man, I gotta come up with a new gimmick now.”

Do people copy you?
I can’t really say they’re copying me, ’cause I’m definitely not the first bitch that was like, “Oh, I’m going to have a Minnie Mouse costume at this porno shit.” It’s just probably been many years since anyone has done that. I think some girls in porn just aren’t very creative, so they’re just like, “What am I supposed to wear to this event?” Then they look around and they’re like, “Okay, all those girls are wearing Bebe dresses, so I’m going to go get me a Bebe dress.” It’s hard to stray from someone’s original idea, like some people’s costumes and ideas will inspire me, but I try not to copy it; I try to be a little more original than that.

You make your own stuff. That’s pretty cool.
Yeah, I have fun with it.